


Better Than Mistletoe

by yarnandtea



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Christmas, Dinosaurs, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-03-02 01:59:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2795609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yarnandtea/pseuds/yarnandtea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evan and Radek have been filling in for Sheppard and McKay on away missions for the past month, and each one's just been a bigger disaster than the last. This time, the two of them are trapped in a building crawling with dinosaurs and death seems all but certain, unless Evan can help Radek calm down enough to find a solution to their current problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better Than Mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2014 12 Days of Lorne celebration over on LiveJournal's Slashing Lorne community. 
> 
> It's just fun Christmassy fluff. :) No actual scientists or soldiers were harmed in the making of this fic.
> 
> Thank you, as always, to my wonderful beta ladyamesindy.

There was a running joke in Atlantis that Sheppard’s team was cursed. If there was trouble to be found off world, they wouldn’t just find it, they’d charge into it headlong and make it explode before they even realized there was a problem. Evan had always held the personal opinion that it wasn’t the whole team, it was Sheppard and McKay. Teyla and Ronon were solid, steady, and remained calm in the face of fire. They seemed to be the ones keeping the other half of their team alive more often than not. When Sheppard and McKay inevitably triggered the shit hitting the fan, Teyla and Ronon were the ones waiting with umbrellas.

He was starting to revise that opinion.

This was his third mission with Teyla and Ronon this month, and each one had gone further south than the last. It wasn’t Sheppard. Woolsey was back on Earth for the annual IOA review, and he was adamant that, in his absence, Sheppard not leave the base unless the city needed to be evacuated. If there was one thing Evan had learned about his CO in the years he’d served with him, the man _hated_ being told to stay put. But Sheppard had bitten his tongue and accepted the order, then assigned Evan to his team in his place. McKay was out as the cause of the trouble, too, since he was also back on Earth to visit his sister. Radek was filling his spot on the team.

Sure, Evan and Radek had experienced their shares of disastrous missions. But nothing on the level that Sheppard’s team seemed to find every week. He didn’t think the consistent problems they’d encountered were _their_ fault. Which left Teyla and Ronon, and he didn’t buy it. Maybe it didn’t matter who was on the team, and it was just a hazard of being on the front line? He sighed to himself and shook his head. Whatever the explanation, it didn’t do him any good at the moment.

“How’s it going, Doc?” He glanced over at the blinking control panel, where Radek was fiddling and frowning to himself.

“No luck as of yet, Major,” Radek replied in a weary tone. “This is just secondary control panel. There is only so much I can do from here.” He glanced up, a hopeful expression on his face. “I _did_ locate the primary control room for the facility. If we could make our way there—“

Evan glanced down at the life signs detector in his hand, already shaking his head. The corridor right outside the room was clear, but every adjacent corridor was occupied by prowling green dots. If the beings outside were human, the dots would be blue. White dots meant Wraith. Green dots meant unidentified beings larger than a breadbox—in this case, those velociraptor-looking critters that had apparently set up a nest in the Ancient outpost.

Why did the SGC run into so many dinosaur-like creatures in its explorations? He supposed one or more of the Ancients must have been fascinated by them. Also, potentially must have had access to actual dinosaur DNA, since the things outside had feathers. Which didn’t help him right now. _Focus, Lorne_ , he told himself. He glanced up at Radek, fixing his eyes on the scientists’. “Can you access the primary controls from here?”

“ _Ano_ ,” Radek confirmed, sighing. He drew in a deep breath. “Yes,” he repeated, “but will take time.”

“Time we’ve got, Doc,” Evan told him. “It’ll be at least an hour before Teyla realizes we didn’t check in on time, and another three from there before she and Ronon can actually get here on foot. If you can do it from here, we don’t risk moving. Would be nice, though, if we could let them know about the raptors before they show up looking for us.”

Radek snorted. “I do not think the beasts will give them too much trouble.”

“’Course not,” Evan agreed with a grin. “But you know Teyla likes to be prepared, and ambushes make Ronon grumpy.”

Radek snorted again. “Grumpy” was putting it lightly. “Very well,” he said, turning back to the console.

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Just let me work,” came the short reply.

Evan wasn’t offended. He’d been in enough hairy situations with Radek to know what the man got like under pressure. He began doing a perimeter check of the room, making sure to stay silent for Radek’s sake. The facility’s life support functions had kicked in when they’d arrived, sensing Evan’s ATA gene, and he could feel the air in the room circulating. He shone his flashlight into the room’s corners, knowing he would feel better if he could actually see where the air was getting in. Vents were a possible means of ingress for the raptors, if they were big enough. He wanted to know if he needed to be watching them. Try as he might, though, he couldn’t locate the vents. Maybe they were hidden behind some paneling or one of the heavy consoles lining the walls.

Evan let out a sigh and went back to watching the life signs detector. It could be worse, he supposed. Granted, trapped in an Ancient building crawling with dinosaurs wasn’t _ideal_ , but they were safe enough for now. The raptors went down easily under gunfire; there were just too damned many of them, and holing up until backup came seemed preferable to expending his ammo and then being overrun anyway. He didn’t like being out of contact with the rest of the team, though. As soon as the building had woken up, some sort of shield had been activated that was blocking their communications with the outside world. Radek was trying to find a way to either shut down the shield, or to raise the others from the station’s own communications. From the sound of it, he wasn’t having much luck.

Evan narrowed his eyes, taking note of Radek’s mumbling, which had been increasing over the last few minutes. He had, for reasons he really didn’t want to dwell on, purchased some software to help him learn to speak Czech. It was slow going, but he was picking up the basics, and he could make out enough of Radek’s words to realize that the man was getting highly annoyed. “Doc?” Radek glanced up and Evan arched an eyebrow at him. “Find something?”

“Nothing good,” Radek answered, directing a scowl at the console. When Evan remained silent he grumbled and added, “While I was looking for access to the building controls, I set a subroutine to search for any information about zero point modules.”

Evan straightened up in interest. The whole purpose of the mission had been to find out if this facility had been a ZPM factory. Information about the devices was scarce in Atlantis’ database, but Radek found a mention of this location in conjunction with ZPMs. He’d jumped at the chance to check it out, and Sheppard had been willing to let him. If they could find a place where ZPMs had been manufactured and get it up and running again, well, life in this galaxy would get a _lot_ easier.

From Radek’s expression though, Lorne was afraid they might have struck out. Again. “And?” he prompted.

“And it looks like this was a research base only,” Radek sighed. “The warehouse was a shipping depot, unrelated to this building. Not even primarily for the zero point modules, although they did come through here from time to time. There is nothing to indicate where they were shipped from or to, nor any information about the manufacturing process.”

“Damn,” Evan muttered, rubbing a hand over his face. “Well, if they were stored here at all, maybe Teyla and Ronon fared better than we did.”

 “Let us hope so,” Radek agreed. He turned back to the console. “For now, I will focus on trying to get communications up, I suppose.”

“Thanks, Doc.”

Who knew? Maybe the Ancients had missed a ZPM or two when they were packing up the warehouse, and they’d just been laying around for the last ten thousand plus years for someone to come find them. Yeah, right. Evan snorted and leaned against one of the consoles, keeping a watchful eye on the door.

Their scans had shown two Ancient facilities on the planet. One looked to be a warehouse, and the other a smaller, more protected facility they thought might be the actual factory. Since it seemed likely that any data retrieval would happen at the factory, Lorne dropped the other two off at the warehouse to search it, while he took Radek to the factory in the jumper. The jumper that was now parked outside, useless because he couldn’t get to it. Which meant Teyla and Ronon would have to hike here to get to them.

The room fell silent, save for occasional mutterings from the scientist. Evan left Radek to it, splitting his attention between the door and the life signs detector. They’d stumbled across the raptors outside, in the clearing where they landed the jumper, and made a run for the building in the hopes of reaching safety. Unfortunately, it seemed the raptors were nesting in the damn building. Evan had seen some signs of damage from an earthquake or something on the north side of the building when they flew by. He guessed that the dinosaurs had found their way in through there. As soon as he and Radek made it inside, they’d been set upon from multiple angles, and only just managed to get inside this ancillary control room without being overrun. Thank goodness this part of the building had held up. Evan eyed the door, adding a second bit of thanks for the lack of doorknobs. No raptors were getting in here _that_ way, at least. After a few attempts to scratch through the door, the raptors had wandered away, although from the look of things, they were patrolling in a wide circle around the room.

A shift in the tone of Radek’s muttering drew his attention. Evan shot him a sharp look and saw a intense frown of concentration on his face. He dropped English entirely, and Evan’s Czech, though rudimentary, was still enough to pick up the gist of Radek’s agitation. It sounded like they were screwed.

“Doc!” he barked, drawing Radek’s attention. “Talk to me.”

Radek drew a deep breath and stared at him, eyes wide. “The building’s sensors have been offline for centuries, at least,” he started, speaking in a rapid fire succession. Evan moved closer so he could catch all of it. “Probably because of whatever caused the damage that allowed our feathered friends inside.” He pushed his glasses up his nose and shook his head. “In the course of trying to reinstate communications or bring down the shield, I reinstated a number of systems in the building, and…”

“The sensors are back online?”

Radek nodded.

“That’s a good thing, right?” At the look on Radek’s face, he pressed. “What am I missing, Doc?”

“The sensors have detected the creatures in the building,” Radek explained. “Security measures have engaged to dispose of the, ahem, pest problem.”

Evan frowned, trying to wrap his head around Radek’s panic. It sucked that the dinosaurs were about to bite it. Pain in his ass at the moment or not, they were still _cool_. But that wasn’t enough to explain why his friend was so alarmed. His brow furrowed and he met Radek’s stare. “Dispose of the problem how, exactly?”

“The security system is preparing to loose a toxin into the facility’s ventilation system.” He swallowed. “A fatal toxin.”

His own eyes went wide as it hit him. A fatal toxin, not just to the dinosaurs, but to them as well. He glanced down at the life signs detector and let out a long string of curses. The animals had them completely boxed in. There was no way they could get through to the exit in time.

“Precisely,” Radek said in response to Evan’s invective.

“Can you shut it down?”

Radek didn’t answer, and Evan lifted his head to find his friend wringing his hands, eyes squeezed tightly shut behind his glasses. His mouth was moving, though Evan couldn’t hear anything coming out of it. Shit. Radek was freaking out. Evan could think of at least half a dozen examples of Radek being in worse danger than their current situation, but he’d never seen or heard of Radek reacting this way.

“Doc,” he said, keeping his voice low, but firm. He moved so he was standing in front of the other man. “Doctor Zelenka,” he tried again, “look at me.” He took a step closer and placed his hands on Radek’s shoulders. “Talk to me, Radek.”

Radek let out a deep, shuddering breath, and his blue eyes popped open. His hands parted and waved around in a vague gesture, his shoulders shifting beneath Evan’s fingers. “This should not be happening,” he said at last. Those words seemed to break the dam, and were followed by a spill of more words, spoken so quickly that Evan had a hard time keeping up with them. “Three times we have gone out as front line team now, and three times we have found ourselves in peril! This should not be! There is no reason for it! I thought this time, not so bad, at least we are safe while we wait for the others, more or less. But now it is the _worst_ of all of the missions, because it will be our last. We are going to die here. Because those poor creatures chose to make this building their home and then we went and woke it up. It is ridiculous! Dinosaurs, Major! And we aren’t even going to be killed by _them_ , it will be this _hloupý_ Ancient technology that is supposed to be _our_ legacy! All because I wanted to one-up Rodney McKay by finding a zero point module factory while he was away! But oh, no! He will still have the last laugh because I wasn’t even right about the factory! We will have died for nothing and it is all my fault!”

He switched over to Czech at that point, and Evan made out several swear words but little else. He got the feeling Radek could keep going for a while. But Evan was guessing they didn’t have that kind of time. He needed to snap Radek out of it, focus his attention back on the problem—and hopefully _fixing_ it. His brow furrowed as he thought about his options. In movies, this was the point at which someone usually slapped the hysterical person. Evan had never really been a fan of that move though, and he really, _really_ didn’t want to hit Radek.

So he kissed him instead.

It wasn’t a real kiss. Just a quick press of his lips to Radek’s, meant to shock the other man into silence and derail his train of thought. As distractions went, it proved pretty effective. He dropped his arms and took a step back from Radek, meeting the other man’s startled gaze. He braced himself for Radek’s reaction, preparing to apologize and explain.

So it caught him completely off guard when Radek lunged forward and pulled him in for another kiss. It took a few moments for his brain to catch up with his body, distracted as it was by the scruffy scientist wrapped up in his arms, and the sensation of Radek’s lips warm and hungry against his own. But some small voice in the back of his head was insistently trying to make itself heard. He attempted to ignore it, wanting to take his time to enjoy this newfound delight.

Time. Ah, yes, that was it. They might not have much of that left, and as nice a way to go as kissing Radek might prove to be, Evan really kind of wanted to stick around a while longer. Especially now.

He managed to break the kiss, holding Radek at arm’s length and catching his eyes. It took a moment for him to get his breathing under control, but when he did, he asked, “Can you disable the security measures?”

Radek looked confused for a second, but then his eyebrows shot up. “Ah, um. No. I haven’t been able to access that part of the system yet.”

“Okay,” Evan breathed, thinking. “Okay. Then how did you turn it _on_ in the first place? Is there some sort of workaround you can try? Disable something else to shut down security again?”

“Hmm. Maybe.” Radek tilted his head in thought. His eyes lit up and a grin flashed across his face. “Perhaps if I try…”

He turned back to the console before he finished speaking, trailing off as his attention was directed toward the problem at hand. His fingers flew across the console as he looked back and forth between its screens and his own tablet, attached to it by an interface cord. Evan watched him work, giddy at the thought of getting to kiss him again. To maybe feel those fingers flying over _him_ , exploring his skin. He wondered what it would feel like to plunge his fingers through that unruly mop of hair. It was hardly the first time he wondered such a thing, but he nearly bounced with glee at the realization that it just might be the last. Because if they managed to get out of this, it looked like he might get to find out.

It wasn’t long before Radek was turning back around, a wide grin on his face, and declaring, “Done!”

“You shut it off?” Evan grinned back and sauntered a step closer.

“ _Ano_ ,” he said. “I did not want to turn the entire security system off. It would be…inconvenient if the locks stopped working.” He shot a meaningful glance at the door that stood between them and the raptors. “But I managed to isolate the part of the grid that powered the sensors and fried them. That tricked security into thinking the threat was gone, and it canceled the toxin dispersal. I am afraid those sensors will never work properly again, but it isn’t as if we will be returning here any time soon, yes?”

“I’m sure the dinosaurs appreciate it,” Evan said, trying to hold back a laugh.

“Yes well, if only we could just convince them to let us leave unharmed, yes?”

“Too bad there’s not a clear route to the jumper,” Evan said, his mood dimming a little.

“Our friends will clear a path for us when they get here,” Radek assured him. “Hopefully once they start shooting, the creatures will be smart enough to get out of the way. Oh!” He spun around, turning back to the console. “That reminds me, I thought I saw something while I was looking for the power grid…yes! There.” His fingers flew again and he let out a small grunt of satisfaction. “Try your radio,” he said over his shoulder.

Evan’s eyebrows shot up, but he complied, tapping on his earpiece. “Teyla? Ronon? Can you read me?”

“Major Lorne!” Teyla sounded relieved. “We were growing quite concerned about you and Doctor Zelenka. Are you well?”

“More or less,” Evan said, knowing his voice was full of relief as well. “We encountered some predators on our way to the facility and tried to take shelter in the building before realizing they were nesting in it.”

“Are either of you injured?”

“No, no, we’re fine. We managed to find a hidey hole. We’re safe. We’re just stuck. The building is swarming with dinosaur-like creatures. They don’t seem too tough, but there’s more of them than we can handle.”

“Dinosaurs, huh?” Ronon chimed in. “What kind?”

“Look something like velociraptors,” Evan told him, grinning at the enthusiasm in his voice.

“Damn. Wish I could see them. Did you get pictures?”

Evan shared a confused look with Radek. “Well, come help clear an exit for us, you can see them for yourself.”

“Oh, I don’t think _that_ will be necessary,” came a third voice.

“Colonel Caldwell?”

“Good afternoon, Major. Sounds like you’re in a spot of trouble.”

“Um, yes sir, just a bit,” Evan replied. He exchanged a confused look with Radek. “Not that I’m complaining, sir, but I thought the _Daedalus_ wasn’t due in for a few more days.”

“We left a bit early,” Caldwell answered, sounding amused. “The crew pretty much unanimously agreed we didn’t want to be in between galaxies on Christmas. Also, we had some presents to deliver.” After a moment, he added, “We checked in with Woolsey right after Teyla reported being unable to contact you, and he suggested we swing by on our way to the city to check up on you and Zelenka.”

Evan tried to fight down an image of Caldwell in a Santa hat, but it was a losing battle. He did some quick mental math and realized that it was, in fact, Christmas Eve. An exchanged glance with Radek convinced him that the scientist had completely forgotten this fact as well. They shared sheepish grins. “Well, sir, if you wouldn’t mind giving us a lift, we’d be grateful.”

“Teyla and Ronon are already aboard,” Caldwell answered, “and we’ve just beamed up your jumper. Are you and Doctor Zelenka ready for transport?”

“Yes, Colonel,” Radek answered, unplugging his tablet. “I’m afraid the mission was a bust on our end, but I’ve downloaded what little information there was.” While he was speaking, Evan picked up the few pieces of gear they’d set down and gave him a nod. Radek keyed his radio again. “We are ready to go when you are.”

“Stand by, then.”

They heard the familiar sound of the _Daedalus’s_ beaming technology and Evan’s world was filled with bright, white light. When it faded, he found himself standing next to the jumper in the 302 bay. Teyla and Ronon stood nearby, and Evan flashed them both a relieved smile as he took in his surroundings.

“Colonel Caldwell has made rooms available, should you wish to clean up,” Teyla informed him. “Then perhaps we can meet you in the mess, to go over our respective halves of the mission?”

“Sounds good to me,” Evan agreed. He turned to Radek. “Doc?”

“Yes, yes,” Radek said. He eyed Teyla and Ronon closely. Hope filling his voice, he asked, “I don’t suppose you found any zero point modules in the warehouse?”

“’Fraid not,” Ronon snorted. “Just some ten thousand year old rations and a _lot_ of empty shelves.”

Radek let out a weary sigh. “Of course. I suppose it was too much to hope for.”

“Too bad,” Evan agreed. “Would have made a hell of a Christmas present for Sheppard.”

“He’ll get over it,” Ronon said with a shrug and a smirk. He and Teyla turned to leave the bay. “Coming?”

“Ah, just a moment, Major, if you will,” Radek said, placing a hand on his sleeve. Evan sucked in a sharp breath and fought to keep his face calm as a thrill rushed through him at the touch. Radek gave him an apologetic smile and said, “I’ve some equipment I should probably retrieve from the jumper, if you don’t mind helping me?”

The jumper, Evan’s racing mind supplied, was probably the only place they were likely to find any privacy until they reached Atlantis. “’Course, Doc.” He gestured for the others to go on ahead. “We’re right behind you.”

In the jumper, Radek pulled Evan into the shadow of a stack of crates they’d brought along in hopes of finding a stash of ZPMs. The crates provided just enough cover to hide them from sight if anyone walked in front of the jumper and glanced in the front window.

Evan didn’t waste any time, wrapping his arms around Radek and pulling him close, pressing him against the bulkhead and kissing him fiercely. Radek let out a low chuckle when they broke apart and shot Evan a smile so warm and so sweet that he thought he might melt from it. “I know a bit of discretion is required, since you are still on duty here. But I was hoping that tonight, after we are back in the city and the debriefing is through, you might like to join me for dinner in my quarters? I, ah,” he pushed his glasses up his nose and smirked, “I would very much like to continue our earlier discussion, yes?”

Evan cleared his throat, taking a step back and nodding. “Yeah, Doc— _Radek_ —I’d like that. A lot.”

“Excellent!” Radek declared. “A much better way to celebrate Christmas than I had originally planned. And even better than being eaten by dinosaurs.”

Evan laughed and risked stealing another kiss before picking up the equipment Radek had left in the jumper. “I like the way you think,” he tossed over his shoulder as he headed back out into the bay. Radek was right behind him and though it was hard to hear over the bustle of the crew as they entered one of the ship’s main thoroughfares, he would have sworn he could hear Radek humming “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” under his breath.

Evan couldn’t help but grin as Radek caught up to him. He shot him a wink as they walked down the corridor side by side. _Merry Christmas to us both_ , he thought, _and here’s to an even happier new year_.


End file.
